D.O.S. (Diamonds of Sierra) 1: King’s Quest

Besides the obvious flaw that Daventry is a favoritist monarchy in which King Edward chose Sir Graham to be king, not the people, the only people to speak of live in poverty, sitting in run down shacks and lean-tos at their empty tables (if they are fortunate enough to possess a table). The country side is overrun with dangerous magical creatures that outnumber the populace 8:6 or was it 8:6?

The future king stole livestock by tantalizing it with stolen produce. He cut the bucket off of the rope or the kingdom’s only well and source for drinkable water. He exploited the weakness of the leprechaun people and stole their king’s symbol of power: his royal scepter. It’s been a treasure of Daventry ever since.

Revenge of the Leprechauns would have been a hell of a sequel to KQ6, but NO.

King Graham, before he was crowned King, allegedly once ate strange mushrooms while on task for King Edward. Not many people know that. What’s the Internet expression for that? PQYRT-RPCFJ-DQW-CYTP-TTMW?

Anyway, some say he ate part of a witch’s house and then murdered her by pushing her into her own oven. And then stole her cheese. (Some also say she may have eaten her way out of her oven to safety — it was built into the wall, after all).

Damn, that would have made a fine King’s Quest VIII! Return of the Witch but QW.

Graham ended up killing a few witches in his time, and spawning witch killers like his daughter, Rosella, who once slayed an evil fairy with cupid’s arrow.

King’s Quest. Well. These are not exactly actions befitting a king or his dom, but in a land as fucked up as Daventry, the people couldn’t do much worse than having a brutally hand-picked dictator with a huge prejudice against evil witches.

And leprechauns.


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