Sofmap and the US Healthcare of Warranties

As I bitched earlier, the used Xbox I bought to replace my broken Xbox last month broke this month. While the term “inconceivable” is not an accurate description of this unfortunate loss, perhaps the term “unfortunate” is even less so.

When it tanked, I immediately brought it to the repair center of the store where it was purchased. This would be Sofmap – it is one of the major retailers of video game hardware and software both new and used, and pornographic DVDs with sluts both real and animated. They are owned by Bic Camera, which until just a week ago I believed to be fierce competitors with Sofmap for the hapless gamer’s yen. But they are the same Big Bastard, and they managed to sell me not only a broken Xbox, but a broken warranty for it.

I naively believed that it would cover all repair costs should the Xbox fail – at least for half a year. Three months? Doesn’t matter – the thing broke in just over one. When I dropped it off, I made sure: “Of course this will be repaired free of charge, won’t it?” and the conversation suddenly turned very sour. My warranty, it seems, was an “S” type, which is the only type they can offer on used pieces of fish shit. It stipulated that I would pay up to 30% of the repair costs, which was outrageous at first, but something I could accept because they added that in no case would I have to pay more than 30% of what I paid for the used Xbox ($105 / 3 = $35).

A week later, I go in to check on the status of it, and they tell me that it will cost ME about $70 to fix it. Why? Because the repair costs ended up costing more than what I bought the god damn thing for, which apparently nullifies the warranty thanks to a finely printed legal loophole. I was livid, to say the absolute very least. I was also probably the most unpleasant person in the world to be around, cursing around the house, yelling at Sofmap people on the phone, and asking what good is a motherfucking warranty that expires when the product it covers breaks? My morose agitation eventually reached the scale of “what good is a motherfucking hobby that takes all your money and only punches you in the penis?”

So here’s what my warranty will get me since I will not be having it repaired: $70 in store credit at Sofmap. In return, they get to keep the broken unit and neglect their duties to the customer. So while I am officially through with Sofmap, Microsoft and its fucked up Xbox, looks like I got some movies coming my way.


When I arrived to claim my store credit, the Sofmap dude who I spoke (most unkindly) to yesterday said that the store has reconsidered the circumstances and offered to pay the extra money it would take for me to pay the 30% I thought we had agreed on. They also offered to fully refund the purchase.

I took the refund.

And now I’m going out this very moment to buy a MacBook, which will arguably end up being game system of the year.


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