Gearing Down for the Sephiroth Shuffle

Awwwwwww shit! Birthday came early this year, and with the massive achievement of securing a new job, Mrs. Epicuzi presented me with the wonderful, wonderful gift of a PlayStation Portable – just what I wanted (and wouldn’t dare to shut the fuck up about).

It is, in fact the limited edition One Piece: Romance Dawn model that comes with the RPG of the same name. I immediately encased it in a clear plastic shell so that no human hands may ever touch its screen, but of course little fuckpellets of dust have already found their way inside. I purchased a hard-soft pouch for it as well (also made by Hori) to keep it protected and zipped up when we take it on the road. I even bought a PSN download card and purchased my copies of Final Fantasy VII, VIII, and IX.

And now, I have to sit on my thumb and wait like a boob for my memory stick to arrive in the mail, because I can’t do shit on the PSP without it. Last week I found a fantastic deal on Amazon for a Sony-made 8GB memory stick for less than ¥2000, but though it has been shipped from Saitama, it has yet to reach Osaka (I know, because I’m tracking its progress through the Yamato-Kuroneko shipping site), and it sure sucks to wait. I suppose that’s what I get for opening my birthday present early, and imagine what an intolerable yammering dildo I would be if I had assembled the case, pouch, games, and memory stick first, and still had to wait the three weeks to blow out my candles?

We are almost there. Be calm, god damn it.

It’s been more than three years since I last played FFVII, and its time has come again. And to make things a little more interesting, I have decided to play with the self-imposed challenge of only using the weapons and armor that characters come equipped with. Pros and leets will tell you that on the grand scale of jacking up the difficulty, the ‘initial equipment’ challenge is the equivalent of putting a pebble in your running shoe, aka ‘shorn-pussy’ level, but I like this idea because it allows you to use materia, only really really selectively. Cloud, for example, will only have two (linked) slots for the whole game – and only on his weapon. Summon and heal? Magic and all? Enemy skill and counter? And what about accessories?! I suppose that one way to enforce this challenge would be simply to not access the “equip” screen at any time, make accessories a no-no. Damn.

I’m going to go check where my memory card is now.

Holy shit, it’s been delivered and it’s in my fucking mailbox.



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