Links that will be dead and not twitching anymore by the time you click on them

These crazy assholes are about to finish their 13th Final Fantasy in a row http://www.twitch.tv/rpglimitbreak

Meanwhile, these insane fuckers are still trying to control a game of Dark Souls through text input: http://www.twitch.tv/twitchplaysdark

And you also may as well know that the next iteration of the Pokemon games have been announced under the monickers “Pokemon: Crazy Asshole” and “Pokemon: Insane Bastard” respectively (with Pokemon: Batshit Fuckhead coming out in the following December): http://www.nintendo.co.jp

One of these links is erroneous.

God damn it, I love twitch.tv  If you’ve never seen a video on twitch.tv, well then, this will probably be the last text-based blog entry you’ll ever read.  Imagine; a network of thousands of gamers broadcasting live, the video games they are playing right this moment, with live chat among viewers, and it’s all fucking free.  It not only exists, but it’s been around for years, and is a valuable commodity to today’s hooked in gamers.  Mom, Dad?  Do your kids like video games?  Good.  They are going to find online personalities that you yourself find unbearable.  Keep an eye on that shit, I know I do.  My kids watch Stampy & Squid, Derpy Dude (I think his name is Summy?), and Zack fucking Scott.  Anyone else, I sit down and watch three or four videos of their shit to make sure my kids not only understand the content, but learn to use all the swear words.

One of these sentences is not true.

Still, it has been pretty amazing to log into a chat room and participate in the very political and psychological experiment that has been Twitch Plays Dark Souls (aka #twitchplaysdark).  Much like the original text-input game, Twitch Plays Pokemon, we were in utter chaos for awhile, and eventually learned to cooperate, and the streamer programmed all these extra dope features into the community interface, so we have been more successful anyone could have forseen.  Bosses, minibosses, hazardous terrain, and menus have all been conquered by the hive-mind, advancing the story and creating its own memetic lore along the way (raise your flongers! in salute to the pool god! etc!)

I’ve been taking dozens of screenshot throughout the run, and really need to put them up somewhere.  Imgur?  Picasa?  Geocities?  Anyway, I have a bunch, and can probably tell you what’s happening hive-mind and story-wise just by looking at it.  Fuck, Dark Souls is such a brilliant game.

That reminds me, I had a terrible relapse back into the world of Dark Souls.  Fortunately, this time I was able to finally defeat the last enemy and claim victory over the game. Unfortunately, upon completion, I immediately started a new character and began the sequence of torture and adventure once again.  Fortunately, I was able to blaze all the way through the game with her, too, and win the prize without ever stopping at a bonfire, using an estus potion, or even powering off the Xbox.

One of these sentences is an out and out lie.  I would never ever harbor, let alone purchase another corny-ass console made by them.

Well, gotta go help the helpless twitch stream out of the Painted World, so see you around.  Look for me on the stream – I go by the handles @leisuresuit*****, @solarstink*****, and @whatthefuckhaveidonewithmylifeiusedtoplaytoomanyvideogamesbutstreamslikethisseemtobesayingthatidontplaynearlyenoughimeanfucktherearetwopeopleracingtofinishallgoddamtwelveconsolefinalfantasygamesandivebeenplayingthesamegameofnineforlikethreeandahalfyearsandalsoviandvandohfuckimnevergoingtofinishanyofthesegamesami*****

(One of those is not one of my actual usernames.)

Stream on, streamers.  If you have a channel you’d like to promote, link it in the comments and I promise to check it out and say something rude but poignant in the IRC.

Edit;I think I was drunk when I wrote this.  I might be now as well, too.

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